Just Beginning
by Caskettlove77
Summary: Takes place after 47 seconds. Castle gets injured during the following case and Beckett is there to help despite his anger and hurt. A defining moment for their relationship occurs.


Hi, this is my first fanfic. I miss Castle so much so am making up my own stories. Please be gentle! I hope you enjoy it. All errors are my own. My story but not my characters. No copy write infringement intended.

He couldn't believe this was happening. A broken arm. He had been on the wrong end of a fleeing suspect who knocked him down hard. Landing on the concrete and rolling into a muddy puddle. The suspect had turned a corner at full speed as Castle stood his ground and tried to stop him, receiving his full force head on. After three hours in the emergency room at Beckett's insistence he had a cast, pain meds and instructions to rest up and not use his arm. The entire experience made worse by Beckett's presence.

Normally he would relish in the extra attention he was getting from her. He would have asked her to pick out a color for his cast, take a picture of it for his Twitter feed and insist on a sponge bath. That was before he knew about her lie. Now, he wanted her as far away as possible. He needed to figure out what this would mean for them and for his dream of one day being with her. Just seeing her face was painful enough after hearing her declare that she remembered every minute of her shooting to a suspect in the box.

Finally, back at his loft he tried to get her to leave several times to no avail. Her voice was gentle when she tried one more time, "please, let me help you Castle." He resigned to it; to her. Even though anger and hurt churned within. She was right though, Alexis and his mother wouldn't be home for another three days from their visit to California and there was no way he would last that long without washing his muddy hair. "Come on," she said, reaching out for his hand as he stood expressionless.

Guiding him to his own on-suite she instructed him to sit on a towel she had placed on the floor beside the tub and adjusted the temperature of the running water. She made herself at home pulling down his shampoo and conditioner and sitting them beside him on the floor. "Do you have a small bucket or cup?" She asked as she started to open the cupboard door beneath the sink. "In the kitchen," was all he managed to reply.

As Beckett walked away in search of a cup to aid in washing his hair she couldn't help but think that this could be it. This could be the moment that she finally shows him how much he means to her. She had been trying for days to tell him how she felt. She was sure that the last of her wall was crumbling. Beckett was reminded just how short life can be when she saw the victims of the recent bombing case. Everything so clear now that the pain she had and barriers she constructed to protect her heart were causing her more harm than good. Life was so much better with him in it. Why did she keep denying him entry? Why push him away when he brought her full life and joy. The reasons she had shared with him on the swings after her shooting didn't hold true anymore. She didn't need to wait to resolve her mother's case. They could do it together. She wanted this, wanted him. He had been acting so distant and different the last few days and she longed for her Castle to return.

She may not always have the eloquence of words that he does, always the writer, but she has this. She can express her care, her _love_ , for him this way. He may have seemed so far away these last few days but now she was determined to get him back and more. If he wanted to push her away, she would take a page from his own book and not back down. He had been so patient waiting for her to be ready, was always there, always providing for her in ways she wasn't even aware that she needed. A coffee, a listening ear, a crazy theory to make her laugh and a true friend, even when she knew he was ready for more. She would be there for him now, even if his outward behavior said he didn't want her to be.

Castle closed his eyes and was leaning on a towel propped under his head on the edge of the tub when she returned. He just wanted to get this over with so she would leave. Having her so close, in his home, in his private bathroom felt too intimate. A few days ago it would be a dream come true. Now, it made the pain he felt inside intensify. Ever since he heard her confession and realized he was waiting for something that wouldn't happen, he just wanted to be alone.

The fresh, slightly woody scent of his shampoo soon filled the air and Beckett couldn't help but think it smelled just like him. Warm and comforting. What would it be like to wake up here with him? To enjoy his shower after a night together and spend the rest of the day smelling of his shampoo?

Her hands were gentle as she wet his hair and began to massage in the shampoo. Castle chanced a glance in her direction and saw her eyes focused on him. She was taking her time, running her fingers through the wet, sudsy strands. She had a soft look in her eyes. Something he couldn't place, a _longing_? It couldn't be that though. He knew better now, but it was almost as if she was enjoying the task.

When her hand came up to the side of his face to keep the water and shampoo from his eyes, it was too much. His confusion and ultimately anger, were fueled and he finally spoke. His tone came out harsher than he anticipated but he let it "Beckett, why are you doing this?"

Taken slightly aback by this tone she replied,"Who else is going to do it? You can't yourself with that cast on. At least not yet, Castle," she bit back with a little sting of her own. She was committed to showing she cared, but not sure what to do or why he was acting this way for the last few days. She wasn't sure how to fix what she didn't know had broken. She rinsed his hair as he continued.

"You don't have to, I'll be fine. You don't have to feel obligated to me," came out coldly and almost under his breath.

"Castle, really, I don't mind," she said on a sigh, more gentleness in her tone. After his hair was rinsed she turned off the water, dropped her hands from his head and knelt down next to him on the floor. Then asked "what's really wrong? What did I do? Normally you would love this Castle, and milk every minute of it."

He sat up and water droplets immediately started to run down his neck leaving dark spots on the collar of his shirt. Looking away from her was hard to do because she suddenly seemed so close. After a pause though, he calmly said, "I heard you. I know. You don't have to pretend anymore." Confusion swam in her brain as she struggled to understand his meaning.

"You heard me…?"

"In interrogation. You remember everything," was all he said and yet it was enough to fill in all the blanks. Realization flooded her and she held her breath as she put together this missing piece in the puzzle of his recent behavior. Yes, it explains everything.

"Castle," imploring him to look at her and listen as her heart began to race in her chest. "I'm so sorry. I…" He cut her off there, not wanting to hear the excuses or rejection that she hadn't given him months before. There had been so many opportunities to tell him.

"You don't feel the same. I get it," well, kind of he thought. A look of hurt and contemplation crossed his face. "I just don't understand why you lied," he paused, "and kept lying to me. After all that we have been through as partners, as friends. I guess I at least expected the truth from you." She thought she saw his eyes turn slightly red and full at that. With finality he said "I think you should leave."

Instead of getting up to leave, Kate sat still in shock and denial. She thought that he had understood. All this time; that deep down he read the subtext of their conversation on the swings. She was sure he knew it was a relationship with him she was referring too. She never was good at expressing her feelings. Apparently she was worse at it than she thought. In that moment she resolved to fix this, knowing that it would change everything between them and hopefully for the better. Hopefully she wasn't too late.

She leaned towards him and put her hand on the side of his face, fingers caressing his jaw. He startled at first and when her hand remained, he grab her wrist intent on removing it and looked at her with ice in his eyes. At that moment she spoke, "Rick, you're wrong."

He froze and slowly a small flicker of hope stirred inside him. Hope that he hadn't felt since before that day he saw her through the interrogation glass. A time when he felt that a future together was still an option. A time that now felt like such a long time ago.

"I'm so sorry I hurt you; that I lied to you. I wanted to tell you. Even that day with the bombing case I came so close. I wanted to be ready. I wanted to be better. To be better, for you," she added after a moment's pause.

His eyes looked to her and he saw sincerity on her face. He also saw, what? Was it _love_? Could it really be that he had been so wrong? That he misinterpreted her actions and silence to such a degree?

She inched closer to him and the scent of her filled him. Suddenly her lips were on his. All his senses were on fire at once. It took him a moment to realize what was happening as her soft lips brushed his lightly. When he came to the reality of the situation he pushed her slightly back to look in her eyes. "Kate, is this real?" He let out a breath he didn't know he was holding and he felt his heart speed up. Continuing he said, "I don't just want a moment with you. Don't do this out of guilt. You know how I feel about you."

Hearing him finally call her Kate and confirming to her that his feelings expressed when she was shot, remained unchanged brought determination to her words and actions. The wall was gone.

Careful with his injured arm she gently place one leg on each side of his until she was sitting in his lap. His eyes grew in size and deepened in color at her move. "Rick, this is not guilt and not just a spur of the moment thing." She looked in his eyes, felt the threat of tears but continued. "I love you. I know I'll mess up sometimes, that I have messed up already, but I want to be with you. My wall is gone Castle. I'm pretty sure you knocked it down when I wasn't looking. I want to give you the best of me that I can. I'm in love with you."

Her declaration spurred him to action and he took her face in his hands and kissed her. Hearing what he had desired to for so long made him brave. His anger disappeared.

Their tongues were tangled together. They explored each other thoroughly and a moan was heard between them. Heat was rising in both of their bellies at the intensity, longing, desire and love finally being expressed in words and action. His hands lowered and wrapped around her sides then to her back as he drew her closer into his embrace. She kissed him with all she had to give wanting to confirm the depth and truth of her words to him.

Slowing to a tender speed he softly broke away from her and delicately brushed his lips down her neck. He nuzzled his face into the soft skin below her ear and rested there. "I love you Kate. I love you so much," he whispered in her ear.

Kate closed her eyes and drank him in. A feeling of something she had never felt with a man before came over her. This was right. He felt like home.

After a few long moments she turned the water back on. Staying where she was, still in his lap she put the conditioner in his hair and rubbed it all over his head. With a teasing smile and new lightness she dropped down to pepper sweet kisses to his mouth. They were both getting wet from the water but didn't care. She rinsed his hair a final time, dried it and kissed him again.

It was one of, if not the most, intimate and joyful experiences he had ever had in his life. And they were only just beginning.


End file.
